Just Get ‘er Done
Acceptance of My Diagnosis,
I suspected I was not well but I didn’t realize how sick I was and how fast things could go down hill if I didn’t start taking care of myself.
The last day that I did that I remember asking myself how much longer I would be able to do this before I had a heart attack, it felt like my heart was going to pound out of my chest. Turned out it would be sooner rather than later.
I found out that day that nothing mattered as much as my health and my life.
Once I Accepted, I Learned
- That my chronic illness was here to stay.
- That it didn’t matter why I had it or what the cause was.
- That playing the blame game was useless and a benefit to nobody.
- That it was only going to get worse if I didn’t start making an effort to change my lack of management.
- I became a priority in my life and my family’s lives.
Once I Learned, I Managed
Self care and self love come first and I ignored it as being selfish. I also learned to ignore the voices in head that were filled with negative thoughts that would lead to negative actions.
I learned to Meditate. I was taught Mindfulness. I bought into the SPOON theory and when I am out of spoons I make no excuses, to anyone.
Every day doesn’t have to be productive and resting is being productive to myself.
“Sometimes the only thing I can do is breathe” is a great motto, and it is all too true.
Making daily goals that are attainable and feeling good about your daily accomplishments is important.
Once I Managed, I Practised
One task, one chunk at a time. The biggest thing I did was give myself permission to do what I needed to do and to be what I needed to be.
I learned to pay attention to what I was doing. So going to the washroom was my only task, not getting 3 other things done while I used the washroom.
I was reluctant to attend Respiratory Rehab but it was there that I learned to do things one step at a time, to breathe deep and to use pursed lips. It wasn’t that easy though and I had to practice positive self talk a lot. I had to constantly remind myself why I was doing this and how it would look upon completion.
Once I Practised, I Mastered
I was very lucky because I had a family that fully supported me and a daughter that was a social worker. I heard her calm voice talking me through every step. I heard my sons tell me how much it meant to have me here and a husband that never left my side. My niece was a huge supporter as well and ready to give anyone a break at the drop of a hat.
How truly lucky am I that this Chronic Illness has shown me the strength that I never thought I had or could ever had imagined. I learned there was more to life then “Just getting her done.”